I wish I wouldn´t be so scared..
I´m making mistakes.. hurting the one I love..
but i cannot make this fear go away.. it stays until i´m almost scared to death.. then it fades and leaves nothin but cold flames inside of me..
i didn´t want it to happen.. i wish i would be just like every other girl..
when will i just do the right thing.. when will i be able to ignore the fear.. everytime it overrides me.. and everytime something bad happens..

i´m such a waste of flesh and skin and dumb faces..

my heart is hurting.. i don´t want to lose him.. but it feels like he´s already decided to go.. i´d understand.. that´s the thing.

but..he´s the one making me feel warm and alive.. i´m craving for him in every way one such as i can..
every other touch runs as cold as ice.. every other voice just sounds in a way that makes me want to hear no more..

but I´m too cold for him, aren´t I ..